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Am I the toxic leader?

Erica Kesse

Am I the Toxic Leader? A Guide to Self-Reflection and Growth

As a leader, it's important to be aware of the potential for toxic leadership in your professional and personal life. However, it's also important to be aware of the potential for toxic behavior within ourselves. As an executive assistant, an administrator, a member of an executive team, or a mompreneur, it's important to reflect on our own leadership style and ask ourselves the question, "Am I the toxic leader?"

The first step in answering this question is to understand the characteristics of toxic leadership. This might include traits like manipulation, deceit, and control, or specific behaviors like bullying, harassment, and discrimination. It's important to be aware of these red flags and to know what we won't tolerate in ourselves or in a work environment.

It's also important to investigate our own physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health. A healthy leader will be able to manage their stress, have a good work-life balance, maintain healthy relationships, and take care of their mental and physical health. It's important to take the time to reflect on our own well-being and see if there are any areas that need improvement.

One important step in self-reflection is doing our own self-work. This includes identifying our own personal biases and blind spots, examining our own thought patterns and behaviors, and actively working to improve ourselves. Seeking mentoring, coaching, and counseling for ourselves can also be beneficial in this process.

As you reflect on your own leadership style and ask yourself the question, "Am I the toxic leader?" remember that growth is a process. It's okay to challenge ourselves and to make mistakes along the way. Joining communities like the Transformational Leadership Community on Facebook, where you can connect with other like-minded individuals who understand the importance of self-reflection and growth, can also be beneficial.

In conclusion, It is important to reflect on our own leadership style and ask ourselves the question, "Am I the toxic leader?" Leadership should do no harm, and it is important to understand the characteristics of toxic leadership vs healthy leadership. It is important to investigate our own physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health. It is important to do our own self-work, seek mentoring, coaching, and counseling for ourselves, and remember that growth is a process. Joining communities like the Transformational Leadership Community on Facebook, where you can connect with other like-minded individuals who understand the importance of self-reflection and growth, can also be beneficial.


By Erica Kesse April 4, 2025
What separates thriving leaders from those just getting by? A bold, clear, and actionable vision—paired with the ability to trust others to help bring that vision to life. Your vision isn’t just a statement—it’s the foundation of your organization’s future. It defines the impact you’ll make, the legacy you’ll leave, and the path to your goals. But without trust, even the best vision can fall flat. Many CEOs and leaders hesitate to delegate, not because they lack vision, but because trust feels risky. Maybe you’ve been let down before. Maybe you believe no one else can handle things quite like you do. This constant need for control? It’s often a response to past experiences—your mind protecting you from the unknown. That’s where the "From Trauma to Trust" Intensive comes in. This transformative program helps leaders shift from a "survivor mind" to a "thriving mind." It starts by recognizing how past challenges shape your leadership style. Do any of these sound familiar? How Trauma Responses Show Up in Leadership Fight: The Overworker & Perfectionist How It Shows Up: You push through at all costs, refusing to slow down. You take on too much, micromanage, or struggle to trust your team to deliver results. Signs: Burnout, exhaustion, headaches, frustration, and a tendency to control every detail. Impact: You may see short-term success, but long-term, this leads to stress, resentment, and an unsustainable work environment. Shift to Thriving: Learn to delegate, set boundaries, and trust that you don’t have to do everything alone. 2. Flight: The Avoider How It Shows Up: You avoid conflict, tough decisions, or high-pressure situations. You may jump from one idea to another, constantly searching for the "next thing" instead of facing challenges head-on. Signs: Procrastination, over-researching, perfectionism, or busyness without real progress. Impact: Your vision stays stuck in planning mode instead of turning into reality. Fear of failure keeps you from taking action. Shift to Thriving: Learn to embrace discomfort, take imperfect action, and develop resilience by facing challenges instead of running from them. 3️⃣ Freeze: The Overthinker & Procrastinator How It Shows Up: You feel stuck, overwhelmed by decisions, and unable to move forward. You might analyze every possible outcome, leading to paralysis and inaction. Signs: Indecision, second-guessing, procrastination, and self-doubt. Impact: You spend so much time thinking about the best move that you miss opportunities or delay critical decisions. Shift to Thriving: Build decision-making confidence, break big goals into small steps, and take action even when you don’t have all the answers. 4️⃣ Flop: The Overwhelmed & Disengaged Leader How It Shows Up: When things become too much, you shut down. You might feel disconnected, unmotivated, or emotionally drained. Instead of problem-solving, you withdraw. Signs: Apathy, exhaustion, avoidance of work, feeling emotionally numb. Impact: Your business, team, or vision suffers from lack of direction. You may feel like you’re "just going through the motions" rather than leading with passion. Shift to Thriving: Reignite your purpose, reconnect with your vision, and develop strategies to prevent overwhelm before it leads to disengagement. 5️⃣ Fawn: The People-Pleaser How It Shows Up: You prioritize making others happy over making necessary decisions. You struggle to say no, avoid setting boundaries, and may take on responsibilities that aren’t yours. Signs: Overcommitting, apologizing frequently, agreeing to things out of guilt, and feeling resentful afterward. Impact: Your leadership lacks authority because you’re too focused on keeping the peace instead of making bold decisions. This can also lead to burnout and loss of personal power. Shift to Thriving: Learn to set firm boundaries, communicate assertively, and lead with confidence—even when it’s uncomfortable. The Power of Intensive Leadership Growth The Intensives program helps you break free from automatic stress responses and build healthier coping mechanisms. For example, if you tend to fight through everything, you might experience burnout, negative self-talk, and emotional exhaustion. Instead of pushing harder, Intensives teaches you to pause, reset, and operate from a place of clarity and balance. What You Gain from the Intensives Program By participating, you will: ✅ Gain clarity on your next steps without second-guessing yourself. ✅ Build resilience and confidence as a recognized leader in your industry. ✅ Create harmony between your personal and professional life. This is your opportunity to step into thriving leadership, where you lead with vision, trust, and confidence.
By Erica Kessee March 21, 2025
The CEO’s Guide to Energy Management: Lead with Clarity and Resilience Great leadership isn’t just about managing time—it’s about managing energy. As a CEO, your ability to focus, stay resilient, and make effective decisions is directly tied to how well you sustain your energy. One thing I’ve noticed with CEOs and executives is that they often prioritize time management but overlook energy management. Yet, neglecting energy can lead to declining momentum, poor decision-making, and lower team morale. The Consequences of Energy Depletion When your energy is depleted, productivity drops, and opportunities slip away. However, with the right strategies, you can protect and maximize your energy, ensuring that you lead with strength and clarity. 3 Powerful Energy Management Strategies for CEOs 1. Start Your Day with Purpose Dedicate time to energizing rituals, such as meditation, light exercise, or reviewing your priorities. This helps set a focused and productive tone for the day ahead. 2. Take Energy-Boosting Breaks Short breaks aren’t just nice—they’re necessary. A quick walk, deep breathing exercises, or stepping away from screens can recharge your mental and physical energy, allowing you to sustain focus throughout the day. 3. Nourish Your Body, Fuel Your Mind Maintain consistent energy levels by eating whole, nutritious foods, staying hydrated, and incorporating regular movement into your routine. When you fuel your body properly, your mind performs at its best. By implementing these strategies, you can stay energized, lead with clarity, and avoid the pitfalls of burnout. Stay Inspired and Thrive For more leadership insights that promote balance and intention, subscribe to Try on Thriving . Let’s make energy management a priority and unlock your full leadership potential. Wishing you a thriving day!
By Erica Kessee March 7, 2025
As a CEO, time is one of your most valuable assets. How you manage it shapes your leadership, influences your team's success, and ultimately drives your business forward. With so many demands on your schedule, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed—but with the right approach, you can take control and optimize your time for maximum impact. Meet Erica Kesse: Your Guide to Thriving Leadership I’m Erica Kesse, and I specialize in helping leaders like you find balance, excel in your roles, and make the most of every moment. Today, I’m sharing three powerful time management strategies to help you focus on what truly matters and move your business from surviving to thriving. Learn More About Erica!
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