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The Trust Barrier: Why Leaders Struggle to Let Go

Erica Kesse


What separates thriving leaders from those just getting by? A bold, clear, and actionable vision—paired with the ability to trust others to help bring that vision to life.


Your vision isn’t just a statement—it’s the foundation of your organization’s future. It defines the impact you’ll make, the legacy you’ll leave, and the path to your goals. But without trust, even the best vision can fall flat.

Many CEOs and leaders hesitate to delegate, not because they lack vision, but because trust feels risky. Maybe you’ve been let down before. Maybe you believe no one else can handle things quite like you do.


This constant need for control? It’s often a response to past experiences—your mind protecting you from the unknown. That’s where the "From Trauma to Trust" Intensive comes in.


This transformative program helps leaders shift from a "survivor mind" to a "thriving mind." It starts by recognizing how past challenges shape your leadership style. Do any of these sound familiar?


How Trauma Responses Show Up in Leadership

  1. Fight: The Overworker & Perfectionist
  • How It Shows Up: You push through at all costs, refusing to slow down. You take on too much, micromanage, or struggle to trust your team to deliver results.

  • Signs: Burnout, exhaustion, headaches, frustration, and a tendency to control every detail.

  • Impact: You may see short-term success, but long-term, this leads to stress, resentment, and an unsustainable work environment.

  • Shift to Thriving: Learn to delegate, set boundaries, and trust that you don’t have to do everything alone.

2. Flight: The Avoider

  • How It Shows Up: You avoid conflict, tough decisions, or high-pressure situations. You may jump from one idea to another, constantly searching for the "next thing" instead of facing challenges head-on.

  • Signs: Procrastination, over-researching, perfectionism, or busyness without real progress.

  • Impact: Your vision stays stuck in planning mode instead of turning into reality. Fear of failure keeps you from taking action.

  • Shift to Thriving: Learn to embrace discomfort, take imperfect action, and develop resilience by facing challenges instead of running from them.

3️⃣ Freeze: The Overthinker & Procrastinator

  • How It Shows Up: You feel stuck, overwhelmed by decisions, and unable to move forward. You might analyze every possible outcome, leading to paralysis and inaction.

  • Signs: Indecision, second-guessing, procrastination, and self-doubt.

  • Impact: You spend so much time thinking about the best move that you miss opportunities or delay critical decisions.

  • Shift to Thriving: Build decision-making confidence, break big goals into small steps, and take action even when you don’t have all the answers.

4️⃣ Flop: The Overwhelmed & Disengaged Leader

  • How It Shows Up: When things become too much, you shut down. You might feel disconnected, unmotivated, or emotionally drained. Instead of problem-solving, you withdraw.

  • Signs: Apathy, exhaustion, avoidance of work, feeling emotionally numb.

  • Impact: Your business, team, or vision suffers from lack of direction. You may feel like you’re "just going through the motions" rather than leading with passion.

  • Shift to Thriving: Reignite your purpose, reconnect with your vision, and develop strategies to prevent overwhelm before it leads to disengagement.

5️⃣ Fawn: The People-Pleaser

  • How It Shows Up: You prioritize making others happy over making necessary decisions. You struggle to say no, avoid setting boundaries, and may take on responsibilities that aren’t yours.

  • Signs: Overcommitting, apologizing frequently, agreeing to things out of guilt, and feeling resentful afterward.

  • Impact: Your leadership lacks authority because you’re too focused on keeping the peace instead of making bold decisions. This can also lead to burnout and loss of personal power.

  • Shift to Thriving: Learn to set firm boundaries, communicate assertively, and lead with confidence—even when it’s uncomfortable.


The Power of Intensive Leadership Growth

The Intensives program helps you break free from automatic stress responses and build healthier coping mechanisms.

For example, if you tend to fight through everything, you might experience burnout, negative self-talk, and emotional exhaustion. Instead of pushing harder, Intensives teaches you to pause, reset, and operate from a place of clarity and balance.

What You Gain from the Intensives Program

By participating, you will:

✅ Gain clarity on your next steps without second-guessing yourself.
✅ Build resilience and confidence as a recognized leader in your industry.
✅ Create harmony between your personal and professional life.

This is your opportunity to step into thriving leadership, where you lead with vision, trust, and confidence.


By Erica Kesse April 11, 2025
Success isn’t just about intelligence, skill, or opportunity. If it were, more people would be thriving. Yet, time and time again, I see highly capable individuals stalling their own progress—not because they aren’t good enough, but because something deeper is at play. They procrastinate. They overthink. They fill their time with low-impact work while avoiding the actions that truly move them forward. And the most common conclusion they reach? "Maybe I’m just not meant for this." But that belief couldn’t be further from the truth. The real issue isn’t external—it’s internal. It’s the mindset, patterns, and unconscious fears that shape our behaviors and decisions. Let’s explore why this happens and, more importantly, how to overcome it. The Psychology of Self-Sabotage Self-sabotage is a protective mechanism—a way our minds attempt to keep us safe. The problem? Safety and success don’t always go hand in hand. For many, past experiences (whether childhood conditioning, workplace failures, or personal disappointments) shape their relationship with success. These experiences create patterns of avoidance, perfectionism, and fear, which show up in five common ways: 1. The Overworker (Fight Mode) Some people react to stress by pushing through at all costs. They work longer hours, micromanage, and refuse to delegate. This response feels productive, but often leads to burnout and exhaustion. What to do: Learn to trust others, delegate tasks, and recognize that rest is not the enemy of success—it’s a necessity for sustainable growth. 2. The Avoider (Flight Mode) Others escape challenges by avoiding risk, delaying decisions, or shifting focus to less important tasks. They might endlessly prepare, research, or "wait for the perfect time," only to realize they never truly start. What to do: Instead of waiting for confidence, take small, uncomfortable steps forward. Action creates clarity, not the other way around. 3. The Overthinker (Freeze Mode) Analysis paralysis is real. Some people get stuck weighing every option, fearing the wrong move will lead to failure. Their mind is busy, but they take little action. What to do: Set a deadline for decisions. Done is better than perfect, and progress is better than stagnation. 4. The Burnout Victim (Flop Mode) When overwhelmed, some leaders and entrepreneurs shut down entirely. They disengage, feel unmotivated, and struggle to find the energy to push forward. What to do: Recognize when your body and mind are signaling exhaustion. Instead of forcing productivity, focus on recovery, mindset shifts, and strategic adjustments. 5. The People-Pleaser (Fawn Mode) Some individuals avoid conflict and discomfort by prioritizing others’ needs over their own. They say yes when they mean no, struggle with boundaries, and fear disappointing people. What to do: Understand that success requires healthy boundaries. Learning to say no is just as important as knowing when to say yes. How to Move from Self-Sabotage to Thriving Recognizing these patterns is the first step. The next step is rewiring your approach to success. This means: Identifying mental blocks that keep you from scaling your business, career, or personal growth. Developing emotional resilience and learning how to navigate stress effectively. Aligning your actions with your mission, so every step you take has purpose and impact. Using practical tools and strategies to shift from surviving to thriving. This is what I help people do every day. As a Thrive Strategist and On-Demand Social Support System, I work with leaders, entrepreneurs, and organizations to break through their self-imposed limitations and operate from a place of clarity and confidence.  If you’ve been running full speed but still feel stuck, it’s not because you aren’t meant for success. It’s because something in your approach needs to change.
By Erica Kessee March 21, 2025
The CEO’s Guide to Energy Management: Lead with Clarity and Resilience Great leadership isn’t just about managing time—it’s about managing energy. As a CEO, your ability to focus, stay resilient, and make effective decisions is directly tied to how well you sustain your energy. One thing I’ve noticed with CEOs and executives is that they often prioritize time management but overlook energy management. Yet, neglecting energy can lead to declining momentum, poor decision-making, and lower team morale. The Consequences of Energy Depletion When your energy is depleted, productivity drops, and opportunities slip away. However, with the right strategies, you can protect and maximize your energy, ensuring that you lead with strength and clarity. 3 Powerful Energy Management Strategies for CEOs 1. Start Your Day with Purpose Dedicate time to energizing rituals, such as meditation, light exercise, or reviewing your priorities. This helps set a focused and productive tone for the day ahead. 2. Take Energy-Boosting Breaks Short breaks aren’t just nice—they’re necessary. A quick walk, deep breathing exercises, or stepping away from screens can recharge your mental and physical energy, allowing you to sustain focus throughout the day. 3. Nourish Your Body, Fuel Your Mind Maintain consistent energy levels by eating whole, nutritious foods, staying hydrated, and incorporating regular movement into your routine. When you fuel your body properly, your mind performs at its best. By implementing these strategies, you can stay energized, lead with clarity, and avoid the pitfalls of burnout. Stay Inspired and Thrive For more leadership insights that promote balance and intention, subscribe to Try on Thriving . Let’s make energy management a priority and unlock your full leadership potential. Wishing you a thriving day!
By Erica Kessee March 7, 2025
As a CEO, time is one of your most valuable assets. How you manage it shapes your leadership, influences your team's success, and ultimately drives your business forward. With so many demands on your schedule, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed—but with the right approach, you can take control and optimize your time for maximum impact. Meet Erica Kesse: Your Guide to Thriving Leadership I’m Erica Kesse, and I specialize in helping leaders like you find balance, excel in your roles, and make the most of every moment. Today, I’m sharing three powerful time management strategies to help you focus on what truly matters and move your business from surviving to thriving. Learn More About Erica!
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